PINK GUY vs. Dilfton | Head 2 Head

In the 23^rd edition of Head 2 Head (2025), PINK GUY and Dilfton contend for the best rendition of “Anal Beads.”

Welcome to Head 2 Head! On Head 2 Head, we pit at least two musicians performing the same song and compare their performances.  After deliberation, we decide which performance is the best or moves us more subjectively.  In the 23^rd edition of Head 2 Head (2025), PINK GUY and Dilfton contend for the best rendition of “Anal Beads”. So, without further ado, let the Head 2 Head commence!

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1. PINK GUY, “Anal Beads”

“Anal Beads” »

George Miller »

2013

 

Once upon a time, before George Miller became Joji, he was Filthy Frank and PINK GUY, a YouTuber known for his colorful, outrageous brand of comedy.  Pink Guy wrote, dare I say, a wild-ass (🤭) song called “Anal Beads”.  If you were sheltered, or perhaps, more vanilla, anal beads are a sex toy.  Yes, Pink Guy wrote and performed a song about enjoying the pleasure of a sex toy, with a mishap… Let that sink in.

“Anal Beads” features ukulele accompaniment. It is simple but sweet – a satisfying sound, if you will. Once Miller’s equally sweet vocals enter the mix, the ukulele strumming intensifies, and the tempo increases. The solo-sexual journey has officially begun! What does Miller kick things off with? “Anal beads / Anal beads / Anal beads / Anal beads.” Yep, he approaches the title and theme head on… rather, ass on 🤭!  From there, with blunt, unapologetic lyrics, he depicts the pleasure. He thinks the world of this toy, singing, “In the darkest of times / You’re there for me” (Aww 🥰), continuing, “These anal beads take care of me.” Yes sir! Notably, the singing is quite beautiful throughout the song, though the comical interjections confirm this is a song that should be taken with a grain of salt.  After a good shove 🥴 😳, the pain arrives:

“Shove it up real good

Now it kinda hurts

OH, NO! (There’s a lot of blood 🩸)

And I need an ambulance 🚑! (Oh my god, it’s huge)

Call the ambulance 🚑! (Someone needs to kill that thing).”

Yeah, the “oh, no” part is quite wild.  Also, wild, but infectious, is the chorus that follows: “Now my ass is bleeding / Ass is bleeding, ass is bleeding /… Ain’t nothing wrong with that.” Well… “Anal Beads” is, um, something!

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2. Dilfton, “Anal Beads” 

“Anal Beads” »

George Miller / Dilfton »

2020

 

“It goes pop-pop-pop when it’s coming out my asshole / And it feels good, and it feels good.” 😳 Um, excuse me? What goes pop, exactly? Farts? Logs 💩? 🤢 WE LISTEN, AND WE DON’T JUDGE! Anyways, we already know that George Miller was once PINK GUY and audaciously recorded a song about self-pleasure (and pain) via anal beads (a sex toy).  After recording such a unique and novel song, did ANYONE expect this song to be covered by anyone else? HELL NO! But in 2020, Swedish 🇸🇪 indie trio Dilfton, joined by Kevin Forest, covered it, nonetheless.

The sound of “Anal Beads” in the hands of Dilfton is raw and unrefined.  That suits the theme and lyrics, if we’re being honest. Like the original, there is ukulele accompaniment, but Dilfton modestly expands the instrumentation while maintaining the intimate (🤭) sound (uke, acoustic guitar, percussion). Like with PINK GUY, this sex toy means something to vocalist Dante Nelson Rådqvist, in all his pitchy glory. Forest, in addition to his uke playing, provides the comical interjections of the original that increase the entertainment value.  Of course, like the original, things go south… too far south… The anus is sensitive, after all. Once again, “Ass is bleeding, ass is bleeding,” Rådqvist sings, adding, “There ain’t nothing wrong with that.” 🤨 😬 😳 Anal fissures be damned, I suppose, among other potential injuries 😳! Covering an unusual, novel song can be a challenge, but Dilfton and Kevin Forest bring it on  “Anal Beads”.

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The Verdict 👨🏿‍⚖️ 

I still can’t believe I wrote any posts about the song, “Anal Beads” 🤷🏾‍♂️.  To quote Oprah when she was criticizing her outfit choices, ‘What was I thinking?’ Anyways, we’re a$$-deep now – sorry, couldn’t resist!  Anyways, who derived the most pleasure from those beads? Was it the original by PINK GUY from 2013, or the raw, cover in tribute to PINK GUY by Dilfton?  The original by PINK GUY is the winner, hands down.  Anyone who can convincingly write a song about a sex toy with replay value deserves to win! But, give Dilfton credit.  They eat and leave no crumbs as they cover this absurd, comical song.  If you get nothing else from either performance, just be careful when it comes to backdoor fun…

 

 

🏆 Winner 🏆:  PINK GUY

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